i don't like the counter.

I don't like that damn counter. It's so demoralising. Seeing that it hasn't ticked at all. Maybe it's accurate and I'll give it credit for that but it makes me sad just looking at it. Just makes me feel like deleting the whole thing altogether. No one seems to bother clicking on my link. With the exception of anonymous here who chose to be anonymous.

Debate today was exhausting seh. All that compressed info in that head is giving me a headache. And I realised that I may be in the main team after all. That's not good news so don't clap. Back to feeling all miserable again.

But the thing is that we are the ones controlling our emotions. So that means I can choose to be happy or sad whenever I want and when possible, I want to remain smiling genuinely and being happy for the most part of time.

Empathy is understanding. I empathize with those who played the blackjack tables. There's never a clear indication that anyone would win money. And even if they struck a windfall, they could be sucking their sore thumb the next moment. There's no stability or confirmation. To those who won, good for you. For those who lost, be prepared for this outcome in the first place. To gamble is to play with chances. I'm not running down anyone who has lost. I'm just thinking that one should know what to expect when they gamble.

What am I saying? Gambling is a thrill. With every card being drawn, you can feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Win or lose, it matters. Alot, especially if you've been on the losing end. Even then, for some, the thrill is sufficient for one to gamble. Money hence may become secondary. But everyone's going to think that you're either mad or freaking rich if that ever happens.

WISHLIST: I wish more people would come to the blog and tag cause that will make me happier in addition to the fact that I'm forcing myself to be happy.

not the best of both worlds.

I guess I can never have the best of both worlds.

Not that I need it. I just toyed with that idea, naive, because that is what people will start labelling me soon anyway. Hyperactivity isn't going to kill anyone. But it's sure annoying. Crap, screws gone loose and everything out of control. Mess and disorganisation.

I wish I wasn't so hyper sometimes and start spouting all sorts of crazy stuff and irritate those around me. Control and Discipline. Lacking and slacking. Though sometimes, people say that it's fine to let your hair down and lose control, it's intimidating.

It's naive to think that one might have all their wishes come through. Perhaps for some people, it does. Contented people living their lives, contented, thinking that there's nothing else that is lacking in their life and they could go on living their lives forever, the moment frozen in time.

Idealistic people living in their utopic dreams. Their world not discerned by black and white nor confusing in different shades of grey but painted in a panorama with a thousand different colours. The epitome of perfection. Where we are one big family, no one left out. When dreams and wishes do materialise in our world. A world known as imagination.

Those were pretty deep thoughts and I dare not venture further. I might end up feeling all poetic and start diverting from what I'm supposed to do. Finish up my draft for a mock debate sparring tomorrow. I'm in the team! And thankfully not the main team. Because I know that I might crack struggling with academics, choir and full-time front debating. It's not much and it never has been. Still, jinhu never had been good with doing too many things at the same time. Biting off more than you can chew. Besides, Chinese New Year's not yet over.

Yeah, it's obvious that I'm trying to put things in a better light. Hmm, I could call it a switch in perspectives. How we react to certain situations are based on what we perceive. Like the half-empty or half-filled glass of water analogy. Same thing that I'm trying to convey here.

Choir today was enjoyable. I kept thinking that everyone did improve significantly. (: And we had news that 60+ people went for the re-auditioning of sec1s. Wow. I'm flabbergasted.

Stuffing cheem words into the post has a quirky way of backfiring.

slackerzxz

I feel so slack now as if there's no homework left. But there is. Physics and Geography. Today's the kind of I'm-kinda-tipsy-day.

So if onglai ever got fed up and decided that sitting beside me was the worst choice that anyone could ever have made, I won't blame him. It's hard to blame someone who has a partner that does a homework due two weeks ago during class.

And there are tests next week and we're most probably getting back the Chinese paper which I blasted. I'm afraid to fail. Even though it's not obvious.

There's no time for slacking. There's no chance of idling . It's all about homework and academic efficiency in class. And there's the sagging feeling somewhere in the recess of my brain that I'm slowly lagging and everything's in a mess just when I see others churn out 39/40 chemistry MCQ worksheets. Which is the expected performance of 46 A students and a slacker. The slacker who's probably not doing homework right now. The slacker who's typing this post right now....

Have to start brushing up, starting with completing all homework on time and studying Chinese overtime. I don't want another underline.

Now the geek specs come in handy.

happy _____ day!

新年快乐!

虽然那已经是前天的事。。。但今天

祝睿珍生日快乐！

In case you were wondering, I just wished johanna a happy birthday! I do hope I got her chinese name right...

My uncle just sent me the URL of this chinese pinyin translation website and it's been great! Now this blog's going billingual.

I guess my Chinese New Year was alright. Nothing short of ordinary. Maybe except the gambling. I didn't gamble as much during the holidays. Just a mere 3 hours compared to 48 hours. But it's ok since Chinese New Year is going to last for 12 more days where weekends are already booked. Cards, tiles and an influx of coins!

I'm not ready to play with notes yet. The stake's too high. So are the food. It's been piling. Temptations. So I gave in and ate whatever I could see. Catch the wave.

I've been feeling moody during Chinese New Year. Time to reign in that temper.

No homework was completed during the holidays. I even gave up using the computer for the sake of the cards. There's only 12 days more! And tomorrow's booked. Tenor Sectionals. ._.

But I went to BJ's house today. And it was the size of all the terraces which I've been. Big.

And I experimented with the piano. Haha, turns out that gladwin and my range added up can reach four octaves! O.O

I've got to remember to do homework. sec 3 life took alot out of me.

I want to reply tags.

anon: have you watched the movie of twilgiht? but then agian, most guys don't read twilight, from what i know. happy cny

It was recommended. And from what I heard too, I'm glad I didn't throw my money away watching twilight.

Gladwin: quotes "e movie's edward isnt as perfect as e book sounded"

At the way stephanie is describing edward, one has to be extremely bias to equal edward with another guy. LOL.

deepak: happy cny!

happy chinese new year too! (: I've always wanted to ask you how you celebrate chinese new year....

jerome: 祝你新年快乐，一帆风顺，Happy Chinese 牛 Year！

新年快乐! 恭喜发财！

Zhanrong: Happy chinese new year!

YO! Happy New Year too! And I can return the book to you already. xP

JOHANNA: happy chinese new year! : D

Happy New Year and Birthday! haha.

Audrey: The girls like edward because they are straight, and they find him handsome. I really wonder why too...

External beauty has been the most evident and highly-appreciated human trait as far as I know. We do hope that these girls can know that such beauty is only 'skin deep'. Oh, and Happy New Year!

annon: oh yeah. you've got a point there Gladwin. handsome as in the movie or the book? because personally i find him quite ugly in the movie. no offence though to those that like him

I have no opinions od the edward in the movie. O.O

Saying that, I just finished reading Twilight. Looking for New Moon. It's pretty addictive. And I am actually more interested to know when Bella is going to transform into a vampire rather than how handsome Edward really is.

Please don't tell me and spoil the fun.

Thanks.

cny eve 2009

Today's the eve of Chinese New Year Eve and I just had my reunion dinner.

I swore that roast duck was delicious and I didn't had the guts to finish it. Well, literally and figuratively. It's such a big duck and the duck seemed to be soaked in all that oil and dipped in all that sauce. My eyes may be playing tricks on me but I think I saw the duck shimmer in the fluorescent lights, whetting my appetite and booking with my doctor my next bypass....

I'm still thinking about that duck. And I forgot to request for clams this year so oh well, no clams. But we had abalone yesterday and fish maw soup today. Where on Earth did my parents find the money to afford all these luxuries during the worst economic recession since the Great Depression?

"It's still Chinese New Year and we all should enjoy ourselves...."

Ok, I'll play along with this excuse. We really all should enjoy ourselves today and I self declare that THBT that Chinese New Year is a time where individuals are able to indulge in goodies.

Twilight was delicious. I've eaten up more than half. And because of that, the entire Twilight saga happens to be my birthday wishlist. My parents are also seeking to fulfil this wish but there seems to be some underlying, subtle hints.

Apparently Eduard Cullen is the protagonist which all the female fanatics are crazy about. At least that was what I heard from the press and the screamy giggly choir girls. xP I have nothing against him or them but I really don't know why this is all happening? It's my own ignorance. Let's just all leave it at that.

happy birthday shihui

Oh, I forgot, it's shi hui's birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHI HUI!

Ok, I just came back from debate. This time, we had 6 more members so the number of participants doubled. Woah. And we had this mock debate which I bombed. Great, so ryofred and stephanie can save my life once again. I could have unglued my eyes from the paper and stop suffering from panic attacks whenever the opposition brings up a POI. But debate was wholesome fun. I'm looking forward to Saturdays.

There's a JG competition coming up and they're picking out people to be in the 6-man team. Then there's also SYF preperation and all the performing arts groups are in a frenzy. So Ms Lee really hoped that I could be splinced into two since the first competition and choir practice fall on 6 Feb, which happens to be a friday.

It's going to be a roller coaster ride ahead. All that homework and commitments, but as they say, it'll make one stronger.

veronika decides to die

I'd just finished reading Veronika decides to die by Paulo Coelho. That was a good book. It talks about why we should treasure every second of life and paints a colourful visual of how being mad isn't really such a bad thing after all.

Next book, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. People have been telling me that I'm slow in following the Twilight saga. Heard from the general consensus that it was another charming book. That logarithms worksheet will have to wait.

Debate's starting at 2 and ending at 5 so I'll just be in time for my reunion dinner. Yum. Roasted Duck and Korean BBQ! I think I can afford to skip luch. Indulgence again. I had to wait two years for this chinese new year celebration.

We have new members. haha. And they are all sec3s. o.O And the preperation for the mini-debate is going to be finalised. Or maybe is already finalised.

I haven't had much time in thinking. Maybe because I was trying to catch up on sleep, waking up only at 9 and spending 2 hours before breakfast to consume Veronika decides to die.

But I still don't know why I got pissed when she passed off a casual remark. I still don't know why.

catching up.

I've always wondered how many people follow my daily doses of postings but never bothered to tag. Therefore, I've planted a hit counter service.

There was school today and it ended at 12.40. We had lessons before that. Maths was ok. I had another colossal colonic irrigation which was why I had to perform a disappearing act during maths class. Fortunate that Mr Wong didn't turn back and ask about me. Phew. That's the good thing about being in a class of 47 people, it's hard to be noticed.

Then there was english where I was commented on having that very novel writing style which was discouraged from writing. LOL. Then got picked for oracy and perhaps due to lack of practice, I stuttered and stammered and flunk my entire speech. Good job. Now praying to pass.

Chinese New Year Concert was alright, like all the other concerts in school. There were a few noteworthy items but other than that, it was rather frustrating. They crammed more than a thousand people into a giant room called a hall where the air-conditions seemed to have broken down and in dire need of ventilation. Still can tahan and am getting used to more and more unfavourable circumstances.

But still, I was shocked by the fact that my school didn't allow ex-students to visit on any day apart from Teacher's Day. So I didn't bothere and went straight to kc's house. We talked. We watched online movies. We reminisced the past. Then it was time to say goodbye and kc's mum was nice to give me that slab of chocolate. Indulgence. Then I met kaiying on the way back.

I still owe a piece of chemistry homework to ms yep. Sian. I don't know how long I can keep this up. Until my whole act spills and I start getting into trouble with teachers.

I'm confused again. But not about my management or organization. It's about something else. Something closer to my heart....

I like singing Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. The range is totally acceptable. The song's at gladwin's blog.

beautiful disaster

I like this title. And the song too. Beautiful disaster. I like the irony and the meaning of it.

I think it will get boring if I start chatting off about my day since all of you experienced roughly the same thing everyday.

One thing to note: Silent mode is fun. It's a real mean but cool way of ignoring people. Just shut your mouth, respond in mime and the person can't say anything about it.

I'm supposed to feel depressed now. Because I lost my oracy preperation which was scribbled under wenjie's photocopied compo. Then during lesson, I tried to steal pockets of time, whenever, the teacher is busy with setting up the projector etc, to complete it. And tadah, it's done. There's oracy again tomorrow. Then there's also the geog worksheets which I'm sure I might not have received.

Oh the clutter and mess in my bag. It's killing me.

Physics was an extra period that stood out like a sore thumb because all the other classes were eating lunch while we were drawing tables for measurement. I paired with maths genius, anees. LOL. And both of our timings were exactly the same right to 0.1s. Fate's intervention. But quite fun lah.

Went to clean houses for CIP. The good and the bad: there were no houses to clean since the owners were either hostile towards us or they weren't even at home. :X I remebered taking class photos at the grounds outside the void deck. It's gonna be on facebook tonight I bet.

beautiful disaster.

a time to say goodbye.

"I won't be sad to say I lost a friend to love."

Maybe it's always like that. Friendships giving way to love. Reminds me of plate tectonics. I seem to feel the future. No doubt dark and unknown but with its dim but consistent glow. I experienced it myself too.

Now, we don't really know what the last sentence means right? Yeah, we don't. So lets go on. I'm really happy for him for finally doing something. But you know what, I'm actually more happy that I didn't get a chance to do oracy today. I wasn't that prepared but Audrey did a good job.

Every blog post is a confession. Soon, the whole world's gotta know about me and all the crap that I try to do everyday and all the stupid results that I get in the end for it.

I thrive on attention. But too much attention is an overdose. That's the dramaaaaa me. WARNING:If you're afraid of insanity or depressed at the moment, don't come near me. People asked me why I didn't take drama for 'O' level and I'll answer you. It's because I don't really like the drama type of lessons though the teacher's fine. It's nothing wrong with drama. It's just me. I don't like having to respond to things impromptu. Too much stress already. Plus I prefer Geography and History.

OK, confession one done. O.O.C I need depression to cool me down. Even though that didn't do much good last year...

Metamorphosis. Ever changing. It's time for change, phase two. Phase one was over.

Sorry ---- ---- and -----if that had been too harsh. But I wish you the best.

We all know that after a day of playing out, tough confrontentials, we still have to shake our hands, congratualate one another on a good job and move on.

It's time to keep the props and the sets, remove the make up and costumes, and call it a day.

counting down to cny.

I am currently counting down to Chinese New Year. Even before the week ends, it's been hectic enough. I don't think it applies to just me and everyone else. Have you realised that the first thing you'll think about when you're at home is to finish the outstanding piece of homework before thinking of anything else? Then after completing all that homework, someone sends you an sms and you'd realise that you actually miss out on one more piece?!

OH GOSH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Erm, that's an open-ended question. You can choose to fill it up in the tagboard. LOL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENJIE!

I've got to learn how to keep up with birthdays. Organization doesn't work. Memory fails me. I'd opt for memory. Whether you get your birthday wish from me determines if you're lucky. JKJK only.

Though there's like 6 assignments lying on the table and I'd just completed the chinese one (xP), the mood is gone. It's back to self-discipline again. And maybe even one hour phone conversations with gladwin.

6 more days to CNY!

another review.

I've been thinking again. Sooner or later, someone's gonna tell me that I'm thinking too much. But I like it anyway.

I'm thinking about chinese now. I passed the compo. 43/70. Not fabulous and maybe one of the worst in class. Still, it's an improvement considering that I was 3rd from the bottom last year. *still shudders from that thought* Then we had a common test sprung onto our faces and I'm quite sure that I might fail this time.

Don't call me a pessimist though I may be one. Choir was :/ We got scolded the moment we came in. Got scolded for that pathethic performance at Open House. Mrs Sin even claimed that that was the worst she ever heard of Anderson Choir. Gosh, i knew it wasn't good but i heard from some sec1s saying that they liked that item is the best.

Now, where exactly is my sense of judgement? I am asking the people that I should hoax if we sounded good when we evidently didn't. Where's the logic in all of these? Where's my logic in all of these. The only good news is that we finished learning Japanese Game today. Finally. It's over. Though the revision's yet to come, at least the learning of the song had been over.

I just chionged my english assignment and am asking carey to consolidate it with hers. LOL. Finished in half an hour. I think I'd de-cheemify this blog, people's tongues are wagging.

one big family.

I shall ditch my attempts in trying to type in perfect English. It doesn't seem to be working.

I'm feeling rather wistful now. That's why I chose Take a Bow as my blogsong. And there are certain thoughts which I have. Such as certain actions commited in the past and leaving their lasting prints in our lives.

Like how we treat person in a first meeting, creating that lasting first impression. I'd realised that the first impressions I'd created weren't very nice. How so? Poking that proverbial greenhorn in front of both peers and aquaintances with that inflated ego. That happened two years ago. And now, I'm still carrying on with that idealistic hope of reconcilations with everybody. In short, another chance.

Maybe that was why I was so eager to run away from all those problems, even after knowing that physical distance wasn't really going to affect anything. I was a coward. I was a hypocrite.

Listening to Just One Last Dance by Sarah Connor, just made me more wistful. Not emo.

I repeat, wistful, not emo.

Emo's different.

That was the past. And I think the present's different. Sunshine after the rain. I've got my friends and family around me and that should be enough. Up till now, I still have the utopic image of having everyone as a one big family. It's naive since everyone has their own ideals. But it's still what I hope for.

Along with good health, good results and good luck.

cca open house 2009

I feel like typing in perfect english.

Everyday's gonna end up full of hope and inspiration at this rate. Because today too, was another of those days.

Cca open house. We did the booth. We did the performance. We did the publicity. But i didn't do something. I didn't help with the scrubbing of paint because I didn't know there was such a thing. paiseh. I forgot, and now i'm feeling guilty for not helping my juniors. Sorry. I promise y'all that I will do the scrubbing next time. Afterall, the floor still looks like a rainbow. They are bound to call us back for extra cleaning.

On your fours, ready, set. Scurb!

Siksik was satisfactory. A bit out of tune here, a bit out of tune there. Still, we managed to pull through and general feedback was good. As for this love, we were all sharp of flat during the first verse but it got better and better until we finally climaxed at the end! Yeah! Long live a capella!

Sadly, I feel that the sec1s this year were generally rude. Perhaps not only to choir but also other CCAs. But I have to give credit to some of them who bothered to listen to me advertise choir to them.

Gladwin shall be the future spokesperson for choir. Haha! Also, those who wish to be a part of ACDC, kindly let me refer you to our founder before assuming that you are a member.

Thank You.

a big thanks to all.

i'm tipsy. though i didn't drink a pint of beer, wine or wisky.

i think it's the people. the people surrounding my lives make me drunk. i wasn't like that until they came long and would have been trapped in this dreary existence if not for all the people around me. credits go to acdc, sps, 1/2 0'7 and 2/2 0'8, 3/1 0'9, choir, a capella, debate and all the other communities which i have joined. it's strange to say this since it's like 10 more months before thanksgiving but no one else says that there must be a special occassion, time or day to thank anyone for what they have done.

i chose today because i felt today was an inspiring and a once in a lifetime moment.

today is jan 16 2009 and is one of the most interesting days of my life. maybe i won't get this chance anymore. once school paces up, workload increases, choir commitments pile and external affairs will get more demanding. and in drowning, i reach long and hard for a life jacket lest a pencil and notebook.

oh, and perhaps because today is just before the big day which is tomorrow, the cca open house. all those pre-assembly training sessions and disapproving beginning culminate in this one single performance to drag in as many sec1s as possible. sec1s, you'd better join choir because it's the best cca (LOL) and that it isn't gay. look who's going to tend to the booth tomorrow.

haha. and look who's going to chop my head off? but decapitation through murder is illegal isn't it?

i finished my first chinese compo today and managed to finish it within an hour while meeting the 450 minimum word limit at the same time. woah, i feel great.

repeat after me. xP

forging new friendships, rekindling past connections, cherishing the camaraderie.

crankiness. fussiness.

crankiness. fussiness.

pardon the english. i'm not writing a compo here.

i wonder about being confined in a cell. one with only the basic necessities and facillities. perhaps a decent toilet bowl, basin and sleeping mat? then i'll continue wondering on how i'm going to get used to the vicious cycle of eat, shit, sleep and nothing else.

likewise, i think weaknesses impedes creative freedom and makes everything around one mundane and boring. an exaggerated example is perhaps pessimism where one refuses to look on the other side of the coin and realise how much there is on the other side.

井底之蛙.

looking forward to constant self-improvement. at least that is somewhere i won't go wrong with. hey, i'm a little sadistic. do you guys know that? i cheer when the general in the movie got a flying sword pierced through his innards. you could almost see his guts spilling out. so don't be shocked when you see me laughing at some dead cockroach. it's supposedly normal.

cooling down. there isn't as much as a fireworks display than a few innocent sparks in moods now. better off this way since we all have to adapt in this new way of life. almost mechanical.

there's chinese compo and spelling tomorrow. it's gonna come anyway so might as well get it over and done soon.

praying not to fail......praying not to fail.

some of the world's most devastating disasters are actually beautiful, since they are the masterpieces of the negative outcast of our lives. hurricane katrina was a sight to behold. surely, don't we all feel sorry for the lost lives and wrecked homes but you can't deny that mother nature was majestic and awe striking in her fury.

currently thinking of watching documentaries.

a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

JOIN ANDERSON CHOIR TODAY!


a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

snippets of a jigsaw puzzle. never complete but always needed. and how we always wonder where that missing piece went.

what is the missing part of you? that desired A1? that girl sitting by the window, blowing kisses into the wind? that fleeting youth?

we all have our desires and desires usually make us happy. but as aristole's monk friend whom i've forgotten the name, said that perfect happiness cannot be found in this world. and he furthered explained that since god is perfect, we can only attain perfect happiness only when we become one with the lord.

and to do that, you've got to leave this world first.

at least that's what i read in an article about happiness. it was pretty insightful. and so was ms shamilah's talk about our future compo performance. harsh. but it's all for the better isn't it? pairing up with carey for haunted report project. blinding lights? haha

we had our height and weight measured during PE. i'm officially 1.7m tall and 50kg heavy. like finally, recahed both benchmarks by jan 14. i gained 2 cm and 3kg respectively since the last measurement. sad as it seems, i want to gain weight. as for height, i'm with the general sentiment. grow taller and grow now. LOL.

like everyone else, i stayed back in school for poster and banner designing. was part of the upper sec doing the above poster. 6 people doing one poster. LOL. but only two people, jesslynn and carey, doing the drawing and the writing. the rest contributed ideas and the above poster, is the fruit of teamwork.

a capella-ed. we had just enough people to form the background vocals chord. we improved. (: but everyone's voice was landsliding after a few rounds. paiseh, many people were staring.

then we had self started singing sessions as we worked on the banner. quite rowdy. as for the banner, i'm sorry to those who put in utmost effort to bring the best results for the banner. i thought it would look much better if we were seeing it through black and white lenses. but nevertheless, it was a good job done.

i went home, intoxicated by what i have seen and what i am going to see.

300th post.

this is my 300th post.

please clap.

*applause goes around the blog*

i would like to thank______

i'm not sure how to fill in the blanks. it's been unbelievable but i felt so alive the past few days.

mood for the past few days: hyper. a literal sugar rush. but it's like a burnout. just because i'm not really putting 100% in class, i feed in the energy to crap with those around me.

it's taxing and i think it's getting irritating. shall stop being so hyper and mad though i'll still be that little not-cute kid next door.

then i'll be able to put in more effort to my ailing chinese. inspired by debate senior, stephanie who like almost everyone in her class, got A1 for the o'level chinese paper.

there was conflict and war in my digestive system today, i squatted down, before sitting down, before being pursuaded by ms wang to rest at the canteen. i retreated to the bathroom immediately and endured for half an hour.

there isn't much point in going into more details about my stomachache. you guys will be grossed out anyway. biology was the next lesson.

english was free period. no relief teachers and i roamed the library with zhengy before bumping into siewmun and starting on a camp discussion topic. it's amazing what camp does and brings out from you. all those dirty bad habits and hidden potential. FJ, Serene and Nit were wonderful. Spongebob was fantastic. still, 3/1 0'9 is still the best!

today was tian ning's birthday too. happy birthday girl.

efl was ._. i liked the surroundings, noisy with all that clammering made by a chinese opera troupe but the aircon and warm temperature nearly lulled me to sleep. kept getting sudden jolts whenever my head is 30cm or closer to the ground.

choir open house rehearsel was typical i guess. there was a capella practice later and people watched. some waved their arms to the beat while others gazed appreciatively. my poor voice was giving way. the normal notes seemed higher and need straining to reach.

someone save my throat.

i'm thinking of starting wednesday morning breakfast rituals.

my geek specs.

our friendship goes a long way back, back into the 70's!

apologies to lucas. i didn't mean it. xP


i'm sorry if those pictures blinded you. it wasn't intentional. i just wanted to show people that this pair of geek specs bought at steamies for $7.80 looks nice.

doing advertisement though no commision. click here

today was a rather great day. and as usual, i made ryan and the rest wait for me. damn, i don't like imposing on people. gotta wake up earlier.

and it's not only the intuitions and attitude, the biometric thumb sensor and pressing pre-school a capella practices are bugging me.

great day, maybe because we had a free writing test at the end of school. wrote about dilemmas, where the plot is just a guy having to choose between his overseas schooling or his girlfriend.

from past experience, simple story lines are still the best. thinking too much results in insufficient time to complete the writing and ends you up in many loopholes and tangles.

i can do without that.

and today's also the release of O' level results. the hall was jam-packed by 2 and the many graduated seniors were all anticipating. went there to explore the situation. and here's a congratulations for everyone regarding their results. you went through O' levels, congratulations. i'm not sure if i can ever cook up such beautiful results. maybe never.

that's for the oppressing future of books, extra lessons and cramming. for now, it's still quite cheerful, except for the fact that there's chinese spelling and compo on friday. grr.

sec 4 seniors did their papers well enough. lucas and sebes got A2 lol. and amos B4 and i'm still wondering if i can even pass.

japanese game is a killer. but it's a really great and fun song.

new blogskin

i like this new blog skin. it looks cool right?

turns out that the creator is someone from ngee ann sec, sec3 guy this year. he's thin and triple science student. i think he's in infocomm or something. his name is geng hao and i do look forward to making friends with him.

please ignore the last few posts. all that talk about changing to livejournal. i really wanted to. but everything's there too complicated so i just forgot all about it.

by the way, debate's fun on saturday and the new instructor jonathan is really experienced and a fresh breath of air compared to william.

was very late for tuition which started at 1.30. debate ended at 1.15 and i reached admiraly, my stomach growling, at 1.45.

by the way, we're still recruiting members, so please tell me if you wanna join cuz i'm like the admin person for debate or something. like a secretary. sec3s are most welcomed.
this week's gonna be pretty busy.

jumping off into randomness, i am considering removing the archives page.

closing off.

i feel like euthanising this blog.

it served its purpose, letting me rant and express all that crap about myself.

but it's all over. i'm gonna let this blog die with that one lethal injection of the delete button.

maybe not, it held memories.

of both the great and the depressing. and it will be a very good tool, like photo albums to look at as one grows older and reminise about the good old days.

i'm not going to delete. i'm just going to seal it up.

and on the other hand, works are being done at denied-identity.livejournal.com

do look out!

blog division.

blog division. i'm thinking of that idea.

well, in my terms, that would mean having a carbon copy of this blog as the one i'm gonna make public. yup, my public blog's gonna make a comeback.

how about www.denied-identity.blogspot.com?

oh yeah, then i'll keep this blog in coma and try to be more active on the carbon copy.

i want to show everyone that i'm over it.

goodbye the past.

hi, my name is jinhu and i believe that we met at some difficult point along the way and got stuck somewhere. but if you believe in fresh starts then i'll like to believe that there would be no animosity between us and that we uphold a healthy relationship of classmates that try to help each other when in need of help.

thank you very much. (:

sec3 camp.

SEC 3 CAMP WAS GREAT!

thorougly exhuasted but no doubt it was fun.

but the best of all is that 3/1 is now a much more united class. together as one. together we stand.

i don't think i'm gonna write about all the ordinary conditions that exist in camps all around singapore. just a waste of mine and your time.

but i had to say that the cheer was a little of Megalomania. go check that word out.

"chemistry, physics and biology too!"

"the best of the best that no one can beat!"

"super hot sexy and very cute"

"the most enthusiastic class in sec3 camp"

still, i can't really remember the exact words.

and i heard the other classes were planning not to clap. ._. but i still liked that cheer anyway. it's a 3/1 cheer after all. (:

lunched with the acdc at S11. and remember never to buy drinks singly in 7-11. they always come much cheaper in bulk. xP

choir was squandered because i was too tired to learn the new song japanese game. enjoyed it when the hwa chong jc choir sang it but somehow, tenor's part is like the only one beyond range. lol. the sops, altos and basses have comfortable notes and we deal with the extremes.

i am still in tenor one. wth. and pohseng left because he had council duties for sec 1 orientation camp while biaojin simply pang seh me.

thanks guys. you don't know how great we did today.

not great at all.

a capella's pretty time consuming but all that will end on jan17. it's the open house.

you have my congratulations.

you finally got over it.

camp tomorrow.

there's camp tomorrow.

and there were lessons today.

first period was biology. learnt a few things about all the mitochondrias and endoplastic recticulums. then there were the 1st and 2nd in level vying for mr lim's attention. haha. so cool.

then there was maths. it was wth. really. told to underline answers with two straight lines and answer questions in a specific way. i had to crush a piece of paper just because i used the wrong techniques and got ticked off because i paid attention to the instructions in the paper and not the teacher. ._. but we'll all get over it.

cool again. thanks gladwin for introducing this song. haha. speaking of which, english lesson was pretty cool too.

ms shamilah was great. and i expected my classmates already. many ex 2/2 0'8s in the class. like more than 10. (: and i think i'll get over it. whatever the past maybe, just leave it behind and walk on. oh, and sadly saboed to be english rep by 3/1-ers.

recess was used on a capella practices in 3/1 classroom. rather awkward, with fellow classmates and even passers-by staring at the din which comprised of the six members.

sad, i guess i forgot to mention the rather dismal performance on monday. mic tests weren't great and we were lagging. lagging so badly to the point where our tempo was halved. ms chai wasn't very happy. mrs sin was mad.

but choir went on ok, maybe even great. ms lim left happy and everything seemed smooth. guess that's what they say about the calm before the storm. yeah, screamed and scolded by mrs sin. ok, it wasn't that bad. but no more a capella on open house if there's no improvement by next wednesday.

back to the recess. biaojin forget to help me buy food so i would have starved and sent to sick bay for gastric pains if not for angela who sacrificed one of her ongiri. thanks angela. seriously. pays to be good classmates for 4 years in primary school.

mother tongue was ._. we were back to singing ancient chinese nursery rhymes.

there was no chemistry even though it was stated that clearly in the timetable. it was more of class organization. daryn became welfare head. o.O and ms yep was enthu for the entire time. ms yep seems to be very enthu always. definitely not a bad thing.

i really like SS and history. thanks to mr kamaludin and my present passion for that subject. formed a group with yongliang, jesslynn and daryn and discussed about different sources and all the inferences that we could come up with.

i never felt so alive. so it's rather sad that SS had to end. but with a protesting stomach in tow, it's fortunate that SS was last lesson of the day.

then so what? not much difference either because there was a capella practice again in 3/1 until 2.45p.m. we did ok. not perfect. and needs better blending.

lunched with carey and erica before taking the train home where i by sheer coincidence, met up with mz, sm, jo and fooby.

gosh, all that homework still lying in my bag....

dead beat.

happy birthday adelynn

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADELYNN!

toast to another great friend!

haven't been feeling awesome lately. i think it's school and the nine subjects. the earliest we'll ever be released is 2.10p.m.

i'm excluding fridays which end at 12.40p.m. because there's cca.

there's up till 10p.m. to buy a new black long sleeved shirt that's needed for a capella.

i'm looking forward to jan 7 to jan 9, jan 17 and jan 18.

sec3 camp looks like the only excursion/overnight stay that i'm having with fellow classmates or schoolmates for ages. (tries remembering 2005 kunming trip). i've a hunch that it's gonna be great.

jan 17 because of cca open house. time to drag, lure or trick innocent sec1s into joining choir. siksik, dal, this love and that booth which gladwin, bj, sm, and fooby are going to set up. hey sec1s, get ready!

jan 18 due to the scholarship which i'll be getting. hahaha. $300? that's still money. wait, that's alot of money.

last but not least there's chinese new year. all pastries and assorted snacks. it's gonna to speed up by new year resolution of putting up 8 kilos by the end of the year. oh, and the cards too. the only sad thing is that red packet revenue's heading south in accordance to the current economic crisis. D:

books? lessons? lectures? maybe later.

adding to all the stupid stuff

i think this adds to all the stupid things which i have done in life.

i went to school for a weekend for no reason just because i confused the dates.

and the worst part is that i have to disturb mr poh to clarify it again. and that was when i was in school.

damn, jinhu, you couldn't be any smarter.

><

i've got to start keeping track.

my brain has seriously degenrated.

...

camp's on wed to fri.

it's next week, 7 jan-9 jan

that's better. i don't want to be confused.

back to the hard wooden floors and tiny toilets.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TRUDIE AND REBECCA! (2 JAN)

2 jan 09

it's been exhausting. this first day of school. and maybe even even saddling with regrets too.

went to school with ryan, mz, fooby, jo and cas. nice. i like this arrangement. lets go to school like this everytime if possible.

and my class is way up in the 3rd floor while the rest are in first or 2nd.

there's 47 people there and it's real squeezy.

i'm sitting beside ong yong liang and standing beside pang biao jin.

i liked the self-esteem talk. with special mention to the weaknesses part. i ticked thirce under the 'overdramatic' box.

vania got sabo-ed by me to be secretary.

i'm in the same class with two ex sps, angela and deepak.

people's staring at the pants.

a capella was great, since we're over with the learning and starting the fun.

choir's ok too. must memorise siksik and hajnali dal, where the latter had already been memorised weeks ago.

i went home with gladwin, adelynn, yewrong, mz, sm, carey, cas and beiying.

there's this gastronomical stomachache which was rather similiar to a colonic irrigation.

and now for the fun part people.

disclaimer: this might be mushy but it's a true reflection.

why can't i get over it?

she's in a different class, though not mingzhen's class and she has a whole new lease of life.

many friends said that she was a nice girl and only i tried to defiantly go againts the general consensus.

i mean, it's been quite long ago hasn't it? that major offence in the beginning of term 2, sec1. the constant squabbles and even the ranting.

those are the bad times but there are good times too. remember the time we worked together and tried our go in winning the spelling bee for the class and the individual prizes too.

i liked those days. and i remembered that she really was kinda nice. maybe because i'm still cynical about the ways of our life that i'm not ready to accept anything yet.

and she's really ok.

to forget, forgive and cherish.

hello 2009

hello 2009.

i still remembered the last night of 2008. it was redish with a tinge of purple and there were a few twinkling stars hanging up in that black canopy.

gentle breezes sweep past the tall condominium buildings and the scent of barbequed chicken lingered in the air, bringing a sense of the primitive. perhaps it was the comfortable and warm atmosphere around the table but yet crows would suddenly perch on the ledge of the balcony, cawing wantingly of the barbequed spread on the table.

an omen, as the elders would not hesitate to point out.

superstitious as they were, those elders were right. they had a point. 2008 had been the year where the financial crisis struck and with it, tore down billions of dollars of wealth. the rich lost all their fanciful assets and the poor sunk down by a rung in the heirachy of poverty. more people were homeless, their filled rice bowls not assured. the unemployed roamed the street, scrutinising every detail at the "Jobs Classified" of newspapers, hoping beyond hope that they would land that dream job.

hmm....that sounded rather depressing. oh well, i just read the cheem-est short story i have ever read entitled "Once Upon A Time in Malaya" by Chong Seck Chim. go read it, it's cheem.

this is rather depressing too. school's starting tomorrow. and there's cca after it.

and the depressing fact that goes with that news is that we have to set our alarm clocks and prepare to wake up at 6 tomorrow.

other than that, for my own personal whimp and maybe even an underlying sense of regret, there's the 3+2 thingy that has to be juggled. along with a capella. along with choir. along with debate. along with chinese tuition. along with new year resolutions.....

zzzz.